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Everyone is a victim of someone or something, and as a result, people demand recompense for their sufferings. No one is responsible anymore for his actions; a person is "forced" by circumstances in his life to act a certain way. It has become so ridiculous that recently a jury acquitted a woman of murder because she had had a "bad hair day"! Her own unruly hair had victimized her! It seems that many routinely cop insanity pleas in murder trials. But do they have no responsibility in the matter even if they are insane? They still took a human life! How many criminals blame their parents or lack thereof for their "life of crime"? Did they not choose that lifestyle or did their parents put a gun to their heads and make them lie, cheat, steal, rape, and murder? Have the cries of victimization resounded through God's church? Indeed, it is a major complaint throughout every organization! "I suffered terrible abuse from my last pastor!" "I served and served and never got even a 'thank you'!" "I never got to tell my side of the story!" Sound familiar? Are these complaints truly valid, or are they another example of the trend of victimization? Some of these cries are certainly true, but they are no excuse for any lack that may be in us. A minister, abusive or not, cannot be blamed for spiritual immaturity, rotten marriages, rebellious children, or poor finances. Some people also play the victim to cover the need to overcome personally. Besides this, God points out that every issue has two sides (Proverbs 18:13; 17), and it is very rare that one side in a matter holds total responsibility (see Ezekiel 34:1-10, 17-22). It is proper to sympathize with those who have been abused, but abuse, a very strong term, should be proved rather than assumed. What parent would tolerate a charge of child abuse against himself without proof? Thus a charge of abuse of any kind should be backed by solid proof. Abuse, where it has been proved to exist, is heinous, deplorable, and punishable. However, accusations without proof or biblically justified ministerial actions (rebuke, correction, even disfellowshipping) do not necessarily constitute abuse. Christians should learn discernment and "judge with righteous judgment" (John 7:24).
Richard T. Ritenbaugh
Scratching Our Itches
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